Anatomy of Humor: The Wit and Wisdom of Samuel Johnson

HUMOR

Samuel Johnson’s life is a story of how one individual triumphed over adversity to become one of the best-known figures of his age. Johnson was born in Lichfield, England, on September 18, 1709; his father Michael was a bookseller. Johnson was not a healthy child. He was scarred by scrofula, a form of tuberculosis affecting the lymph nodes, suffered loss of hearing and was blind in one eye. The availability of the books in his father's shop, and a natural appetite for learning, gave him extensive knowledge at an early age. He attended Oxford for about a year, but was forced to leave because of a lack of money.

In 1735, Johnson married Elizabeth "Tetty" Porter, a wealthy widow 21 years his senior; She was 46 and he 25. As a young man, Johnson tried his hand at a career as a schoolmaster, and was unsuccessful--largely because he didn't have a degree. Eventually he went to London to seek his fortune, and found employment as a writer for various periodicals. Johnson’s masterwork. his Dictionary, appeared in 1755.

Johnson received a government pension in 1762. Reluctant to accept it, he agreed to receive it on learning that it was for his work in the past. The money was a great help to him. No longer did he have to worry about being threatened with debtor's prison. He would receive an honorary doctorate from Trinity College in Dublin in 1765 and from Oxford in 1775 and would thereafter be called "Dr. Johnson."

In 1763, Johnson had met a young Scot named James Boswell in a London bookstore. The two became fast friends. Boswell took notes during their conversations and converted these notes and other material into his mammoth landmark biography, The Life of Samuel Johnson.

Johnson was tall and robust , but his odd gestures, grimaces and tics were confusing and even frightening to some on their first encounter with him. Boswell's biography documented Johnson's behavior and mannerisms in such detail that they have permitted doctors now to diagnose his condition as Tourette Syndrome, a condition undefined or undiagnosed in the 18th century.

A writer in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine observed that Johnson also displayed many of the obsessional-compulsive traits and rituals which are associated with this syndrome, noting, "It may be thought that without this illness Dr. Johnson's remarkable literary achievements, the great dictionary, his philosophical deliberations and his conversations may never have happened; and Boswell, the author of the greatest of biographies would have been unknown." Critic Harold Bloom described Johnson as "unmatched by any critic in any nation before or after him," and added, "Bate [W. Jackson Bate] in the finest insight on Johnson I know, emphasized that no other writer is so obsessed by the realization that the mind is an activity, one that will turn to destructiveness of the self or of others unless it is directed to labor."

In 1774 he printed The Patriot, a critique of what he viewed as false patriotism. On the evening of 7 April 1775, he made the famous statement, "Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel." This line was not, as widely believed, about patriotism in general, but the false use of the term "patriotism" by John Stuart, 3rd Earl of Bute (the patriot-minister) and his supporters; Johnson opposed "self-professed Patriots" in general, but valued what he considered "true" patriotism.

After a series of illnesses he died on the evening of December 13, 1784, and was buried in Westminster Abbey. Boswell's biography was published seven years later in 1791, guaranteeing him a place in history. Johnson's output included a complete edition of Shakespeare; a number of frequently cited political tracts; sermons; a description of his 1773 tour to Scotland with Boswell, with considerable discussion of the change of an era; and a series of biographies of numerous British poets, The Lives of the Poets, commissioned to accompany reprints of each poet's works. Only years after his death did Johnson begin to be recognized as having had a lasting effect on literary criticism, and as the only great critic of English literature.

Poet, lexicographer, essayist, novelist, journalist, and critic of the period now called "The Age of Johnson," Johnson's wit and wisdom shines forth here:

On over-indulgence with drink, to the extent of becoming a beast: "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."

On America: "How is it that we hear the loudest yelps for liberty among the drivers of negroes?"

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.

No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.

A man may write at any time, if he will set himself doggedly to it.

On second marriages: The triumph of hope over experience.

A decent provision for the poor is the true test of civilization.

No people can be great who have ceased to be virtuous.

Human life is everywhere a state in which much is to be endured, and little to be enjoyed.

A man should keep his friendship in constant repair.

No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.

Depend upon it, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding.

Definition of oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland appears to support the people.

The law is the last result of human wisdom acting upon human experience for the benefit of the public.

Definition of pension: An allowance made to any one without an equivalent. In England it is generally understood to mean pay given to a state hireling for treason to his country.

We must either outlive our friends you know, or our friends must outlive us, and I see no man that would hesitate about the choice.

Life is a pill which none of us can bear to swallow without gilding.

A cucumber should be well-sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

A man is very apt to complain of the ingratitude of those who have risen far above him.

Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.

As I know more of mankind I expect less of them, and am ready now to call a man a good man upon easier terms than I was formerly.

Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind.

Do not accustom yourself to use big words for little matters.

Every quotation contributes something to the stability or enlargement of the language.

Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.

Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.

Hope is necessary in every condition.

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone.

If you are idle, be not solitary; if you are solitary be not idle.

In order that all men may be taught to speak truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it.

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.

Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.

Men have been wise in many different modes; but they have always laughed the same way.

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.

Of all the griefs that harass the distressed, sure the most bitter is a scornful jest.

People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.

Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.

Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.

Such seems to be the disposition of man, that whatever makes a distinction produces rivalry.

The world is not yet exhausted; let me see something tomorrow which I never saw before.

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified and new prejudices to be opposed.

We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.

What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.

While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it.

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.

You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets and wonder when you are done that they do not delight in your company.

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.

It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time.

Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.

Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult.

What we hope ever to do with ease we may learn first to do with diligence.

Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it.

Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.

The following quotations are either attributed to Johnson or are closely related to quotations in his works:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

The supreme end of education is expert discernment in all things--the power to tell the good from the bad, the genuine from the counterfeit, and to prefer the good and the genuine to the bad and the counterfeit.

A fishing pole has a hook at one end and a fool at the other.

Golf: A game in which you claim the privileges of age and retain the playthings of youth.

God Himself, does not propose to judge a man until his life is over. Why should you and I?

He who has provoked the shaft of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it.

Slander is the revenge of a coward, and dissimulation his defense.

Criticism, as it was first instituted by Aristotle, was meant a standard of judging well.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop.

Prejudice, not being founded on reason, cannot be removed by argument.

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him.

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

A horse that can count to ten is a remarkable horse, not a remarkable mathematician.

You don't have to eat the whole ox to know that it is tough.

The finest landscape in the world is improved by a good inn in the foreground.

Our aspirations are our possibilities.

The true aim of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.

I did not have time to write you a short letter, so I wrote you a long one instead.

Courage is the greatest of all virtues. Because if you haven't courage, you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others.

What is the strongest argument for prayer? There is no argument for prayer.

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws it in hopes he may hit.

Truth is the first casualty of war.

Clear your mind of cant (stock phrases that have become meaningless through endless repetition).

The grimmest dictatorship is the dictatorship of the prevailing orthodoxy.